Akary said:

Some crazy quotes

……………………………………………………………

I was born intelligent -
education ruined me.
………………………………………………………………

Practice makes perfect…..
But nobody's perfect……
so why practice?

…………………………

……………………………………

How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?

………………………………………………………………

"Your future depends on your dreams"
So go to sleep

………………………………………………………………

The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. why learn.

…………………………………………………………………

God that was soo funnyyy

looool, the best ones are the 12nd, 11st and 5th, xD, hilarous

(1) DON'T LOOK AT NAKED LADY
Boy 1: Why do you run from a naked lady?
Boy 2: Becos my mum said that if I look at a naked lady, I'll  turn into  stone. A part of me is getting hard already!
 
(2) NAMES OF WIVES
A malay man had 4 wives, and he called his…
4th wife….. baby doll
3rd wife…..china doll
2nd wife…..barbie doll
1st wife….. panadol !

(3) HOW INDIA GOT ITS NAME
This is how India got its name…..
The king was having sex wit h his mistress while thinking a name of his country and his mistress ask him

 "is it In Dear?"…

(4) RESEARCH FINDING

esearch shows men are fatter than women because every-night men

get fresh milk & 2 big papayas while women only get 1 banana, 2 peanuts &

1 tea-spoon of starch!



(5) ARAB MAN

 An arab was being interviewed at a US checkpoint.

 'Your name pls.'?

 "Abdul Aziz "

 "Sex? "

 "Six times a week!! "

 "No, no, I mean male or female! "

 "Doesn't matters, sometimes even camel !" 

(6) SERVICE

 Sex is like a restaurant.

 Sometimes you get full satisfactory service,

 and sometimes you have to be satisfied with self-service"

(7) HAPPY MAN

 What makes a happy man?

 Daughter on the cover of Cosmo.

 Son on the cover of sports illustrated.

 Mistress on the cover of playboy

 and .. Wife on the cover of "missing persons"

 

(8) SWIMSUITWhy was the 2-piece swimsuit invented?

It is to separate the HAIRY section from the DAIRY section.

(9) GOOD AMBITIONTeacher: What do you want to become?Little Johnny: Doctor!!Teacher: Why?Little Johnny: Coz its the only profession where u can tell a woman to take   

 off her clothes and ask her husband to pay for it.

(10) DENTIST

Woman complaining to dentist: "It's so painful, I'll rather have a baby than have a tooth removed."Dentist: "Make up your mind soon, I'll adjust the chair accordingly."

(11) VIRGINAn old lady, 85, a virgin, is about to die, wanted her tombstone to read: 

BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN.

The engraver shortened it to: "

"RETURNED   UNOPENED"

(12) OLD MAN AND YOUNG GIRL75 yr old man got married to a 15 yr girl.On their first night both were crying - why???Coz she didn't know anything, and

he had forgotten everything.

Akary said:sorry guys.I made some mistakes.

It was funny as hell even with some little mistakes

I cant wait!

CASE # 1
 
Interviewer to Millionaire:
To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?
Millionaire : I owe everything to my wife.
Interviewer: Wow, she must be some woman.
What were you before you married her?
Millionaire: A billionaire.

CASE # 2

Wife: Why do you always carry my photo in your wallet?
Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how big,
I look at your photo and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Husband : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself,
'What other problem can be greater than this one?'

CASE # 3

Q – What is the difference between a mother and a wife?
A – One woman brings you into this world crying….
 
……the other ensures you continue to do so.

CASE # 4

Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and No.

CASE # 5

Wife: Honey….. What are you looking for?
Husband : Nothing.
Wife: Nothing…?? You have been reading our marriage
certificate for an hour !!
Husband: I was just looking for the expiry date.
 
 

Haha where do you find these things? These are great too!!!!!!